"Uh, dunno bro"
And instead of wasting a perfectly edible, nay perfectly frothtactular sandwich on "Bro No. 2's" worthless features, he could have delighted his tastebuds with the timelessly tasty condiment fusion of peanut butter and jelly (jam, work with me Australia...)
Anyway, the point of today's blog is that the other day I felt a stirring digestive tract. The stirring was prompted by the viewing of the previous video...and revisiting prior posts on this blog (here and here) I was reminded of my affection for the nutty fantasticness that is peanut butter.
"Bro, what are you doing?"
"Buttering my sandwich bro, what does it look like I'm doing?"
"Bro, it looks like you're adding an unnecessary condiment to that peanut butter sandwich"
"Well bro I'd say visit your fucking optometrist because that isn't what I'm doing"
"Bro, it certainly looks like that's what you're doing. Do you want to have a coronary or something?"
"Listen, if I'm going to have a coronary I want it to be the result of deliciousness not of something stupid like those dagwood dogs you eat"
"Shut up and make me a vegemite one while you're at it"
*proceeds to make vegemite sandwich for "Bro No. 2"
*reaches for butter to put on vegemite sandwich
"Bro, don't put that shit on my sandwich"
But although butter to me is a perfectly logical accompaniment to a pb sambo...jam has never quite tickled my pickle...wobbled my wibbler...beached my whale...etc.
But, as I browsed the interweb in search of a recipe that would satisfy my cravings for peanut buter I reflected on the video that had inspired my metabolism.
If a banana's excitement could generate over eight million youtube views, then I'm sure he knew what he was dancing about.
So I found these bad boys on Martha Stewarts webpage...and I was not disappointed.
They don't have the chewability that is brownie texture...so don't expect them to be anything like that. They're crumbly, like cheesecake bottom....and melt in your mouth. Use really good quality jam and they'll shatter your taste zones like a seven on the richter scale. I used boysenberry. Purely because it is fun to say boysenberry. Seriously say it now.
Once I ordered boysenberry icecream at an icecream store (reading that I'm thinking where the fuck else would I order a boysenberry icecream...) and couldn't help but burst into laughter because the word is so hilarious to me. Later, while I was enjoying my icecream, someone asked me what flavour and I was forced to dribble the boysenberry icecream out of my mouth because the mere mention of the word sends me into a giggle frenzy.
The recipe calls for them to be cooked for forty minutes...but mine took a wee bit longer than that. It all depends on how deep your pan is really. So make sure you're checking on them on the reg if you've altered the recipe in any way.
I also changed my recipe - I could only find stale cashews and no delicious peanuts so I made a brown sugar butter crumble on top. NOT A FAIL NO REGRETS FUCKING TASTY!
Although one warning I must add...when taking them out of the oven...
DO NOT SHOVE IT IMMEDIATELY IN YOUR MOUTH LIKE I DID THE JAM SORT OF TURNS INTO SUGARY LAVA AND TAKES OFF THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH SKIN WHICH, UNLIKE THE BAR ITSELF, IS NOT DELICIOUS AT ALL.
If this happens I suggest this thread...Ow I Burnt My Tongue
Peanut Butter and Jelly Bars - courtesy of Martha Stewart...yet tweaked and twerked by yours truly...