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Monday, November 1, 2010

Oh the deliciousness.

When I see that the date of my last post is the 9th of August, I feel rather unwell.

Not only have I baked a plethora of goodies in between now (the 2nd of November) and the 9th, I have almost certainly had the time to park my arse and write a sentence or two about them.

But I really haven't. The whole stuck in a rut thing? Yeah yeah, excuses, excuses, excuses. Really I'm just a lazy bitch and can't be bothered to plug my camera into my USB port and press a few buttons. I blame it on my diminished dexterity due to my lack of gaming recently. My full time job restricts me from vital time spent Sim-ming or Mario Karting. Need to do some finger push ups. Maybe some finger sit-ups. Or would these be finger bend ups? Maybe I should just give the finger constantly...see where I am in a week. Write in a story to Marie Claire saying "Oh my god I've never felt so good about myself I am just so awesome!"

Or maybe I should harden the eff up cookie nerd and post something (as quoted by someone quite close to me...vicinity wise not emotionally...he's a prick.)

So allow me to restart me blog with a special post. One with a special person in mind. One with a special taste. For a special something. The special something making you feel somewhat special in your tastebuds.

This poem I am about to offer you that will acquaint you with this special something I am referring to was sourced from the neverending cess pool of "talent" that the internet offers. Bless.

Ode to Rum
Rum, rum
You make me say yum.
I love how you feel
when you hit my tum.
You make me so happy
I just want to drum
and dance and sing
and tell everyone, Come!
Come, come!
Come and drink rum.
Sometimes dear rum
you make me feel dumb
and sometimes I even
fall on my bum,
And I sing out loud
la la la la lum?
Hmmm-I think I've had too much rum.
But don't tell anyone

just keep mum,
because if they took it away
I'd just feel numb.
Oh rum, oh rum,
You make me say yum.

(We can thank one Renee Leverette for that little gem. Golf claps ladies and gents all round for the literary talent and prowess she has shown. I wonder if I should recommend her for the Nobel? I'm she doesn't have a Chinese wife who'd let the cat out of the bag if I did...)

Anyway lemons I suppose by now you can see where this is heading...the special something is rum!

It was my friend's eighteenth birthday not long ago and she has a somewhat minor obsession with rum. When I say minor I mean "so major should be classified as a disorder" and by obsession I mean "Would sell her first-born and her spleen".

Being the accomodating friend I am, I decided to make her a cake that featured rum. Not only was this idea thoughtful, it was considerate, generous, sexy, alluring, tasteful, goddesslike...etc. much like myself, it had an alterior motive.


Once upon a time there were three sisters. Two of these sisters were going to Canada for a bit. So the two sisters threw a party. The other sister got excited. This sister drank half a bottle of rum in one go. This sister then proceeded to pick up the other two sisters' celebratory going away cake, steady it in her two hands, then push the entire thing into her face. The other two sisters laughed and the friend who witnessed the event vowed that whereever there was rum and the cake faced sister...there would be a cake.

Because who the hell doesn't want to see someone put a cake in their face? You'd have to be a fucking serial arsonist not to enjoy that shit.

So I decided upon this cake. It is a cheesecake. I chose cheesecake because it would be the funniest to imagine in her face. All squished and full of cheese. Massive lol potential.

It was delicious. Hot, buttery rum scented deliciousness. My tastebuds frothed endlessly. And my liver didn't even protest! Well he did later that night.

Bear in mind that I added a lot more rum to this recipe...if you don't like the taste then omit it entirely or just bring down the quantities. Or...just add the rum to the cake and not to the caramel sauce. Oh the possibilities are endless queers!

I also used Bundaberg Rum purely for sentimental reasons but I feel that if a higher quality rum was used it would be much more delicious. :)

Oh and if you were wondering what happened when I presented this cake to the friend...she exclaimed "IT SMELLS LIKE A DRINK!" and the darling tried to take a bite out of it and in doing so, smushed it in her face.

Mission fucking complete.

The recipe on epicurious is for multiple cheesecakes but just bung the bastard into one pan and wah-lah you got it!

Recipe in tow...

Hot Buttered Rum Cheesecake with Rum Caramel Sauce (altered slightly)


5 1/2 cups finely ground honey flavoured tiny teddies (you could use any flavour I guess but I like these ones :))
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup (packed) brown sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted


1/2 cup dark rum (BUNDY BRO!)
3 8-ounce packages cream cheese, room temperature
8 ounces of ricotta cheese
1 1 /2 cups sugar
4 large eggs
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/3 cup whipping cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract


2 1/2 cups sour cream
7 tablespoons sugar
1 3/4 teaspoons vanilla extract


Preparation for the crust:

Blend ground cookies and both sugars in processor. Add butter and process to blend. Bung ya mix into your pan and press the mix against the bottom and the sides until nicely compacted. You don't want it to be too thick. You need a ratio that = deliciousness :)

For filling:

Position racks in top middle of oven; preheat to 175 degrees celsius.Boil rum in small saucepan until reduced to 1/4 cup, about 1 minute. Cool.

Using electric mixer, beat cream cheese and ricotta together in large bowl on low speed until smooth. Gradually beat in sugar. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating on low speed just to blend after each addition, occasionally scraping sides of bowl. Beat in spices, then cream, vanilla, and cooled rum just to blend. Bung ya filling on top of your delcious cookie ness.

Place cheesecakes on a rimmed baking sheet. Bake until top appears set, puffed, and golden at edges but still move slightly in center when shaken, reversing sheets after 20 minutes, about 40 minutes total. Cool 5 minutes.

Meanwhile, prepare topping:

Whisk sour cream, sugar, and vanilla in large bowl. Divide topping among hot cheesecakes, about 1/4 cup each, spreading to meet edges of crusts. Bake 10 minutes. Run knife around each cake to loosen crust from pan. Chuck him in the refridgerator straight away so it doesn't go all strange and soggy from the heat.

Chill uncovered overnight. (Can be made 2 days ahead. Cover; keep chilled.) Serve with Rum-Caramel Sauce.

Rum Caramel Sauce

1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup water
2 tablespoons light corn syrup
1/2 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 1/4 cups whipping cream
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
3 tablespoons dark rum
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract


Combine first 4 ingredients in heavy medium saucepan. Stir over medium heat until sugar dissolves. Increase heat; boil without stirring until syrup turns deep amber color, occasionally swirling pan and brushing down sides with wet pastry brush, about 10 minutes (time will vary depending on size of pan). Don't burn the bastard it will go deep amber really really quickly and it can burn in between this time. Remove from heat. Pour in cream (mixture will bubble vigorously); stir to blend. Mix in butter, then rum, cinnamon, and vanilla. Cool sauce completely.

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