Cazamel Tart + Model Shots

I fucking love caramel.

It's one of those ingredients (like butter) that you can just lump on anything and it tastes good.

Icecream...Pancakes...Cereal...Steak.

Seriously even with steak.

Actually, steak could be one of those ingredients as well. Mung on some caramel with ya green beans and chippies and you're set for a good wholesome dinner. Slash toilet. Double slash G.P.

My friend and her fabulous beautiful gorgeous lovely sister lived at Mooloolaba with some other room mates who refused to go shopping so when times got tough, these two would have to make do with what they had.

One hopeless case of this was when she woke up craving an egg on toast.

And when this girl craves an egg on toast...there is no fucking stopping her getting her egg on her toast.

This girl would put her hand up a chicken to get an egg to cook to put on that toast.

You catch my drift.

Anyway, she went into the fridge, got her egg, her toast and plonked it on the counter. Cooked the egg, cooked the toast and went into the fridge to get the butter.

Need I say more?

Yeah I probs should aye.

THERE WAS NO FUCKING BUTTER!

Holy guacamole, what do you do when there's no butter! Margarine? Are you crazy? Do you have a condition? Because you talkin' smack gurl.

So, in her fury and rage, she picked up the closest thing to butter in the fridge she could find...spread it on her toast...plonked her egg on top...and munched that bad boy right up. And she was happy.

Just so you know...that condiment...was passionfruit yoghurt.

Back to the point of my story...you can put caramel on anything if you can eat passionfruit yoghurt + egg + toast.

Personally, it tastes a hell of a lot better when you bake it into a tart. Like I did. Which leads me to the recipe that is the point of this blogpost. A caramel tart. A custardy almond caramel tart.

However before I divulge in this recipe...I promised I'd feature some of my mates on the blog because I told them I wrote Cookie Jar and they didn't believe me. Just wanted to explain the model shots that were popping up between my preamble paragraphs.

Enjoy! (Double enjoy da babez presenting you da TaArRt!)

Caramel Tart (adapted from epicurious.com)

(Now this tart is pretty average...The components by themselves are FREAKING BRILLIANT but the whole thing all together just doesn't seem to mesh. I think I'd suggest serving the custard by itself or just using the recipe for the tart base for a lemon tart or something along those lines...)

Crust

1/2 cup dry roasted almonds

1/4 cup sugar

1 cup all purpose flour

1/4 cup icing sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup (1 stick) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes

1 large egg yolk

Pudding

2 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 1/4 cups of milk (preferably whole milk for the consistency)

3 large egg yolks
1 cup sugar

1/3 cup water

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Topping

2/3 cup sugar

1/3 cup water

1 cup flaked almonds (I used whole but use flaked)

1/8 teaspoon vanilla extract

three tablespoons of coconut cream

1 tablespoon butter

For crust.

Butter 9-inch-diameter tart pan with removable bottom. Combine almonds and 1/4 cup sugar in processor to make an almond meal. Add flour, powdered sugar, and salt and blend the bad boy. Add butter and blend again (SO MUCH BLENDING) until coarse meal forms. Add egg yolk and blend until moist clumps form, about 30 seconds. Knead dough into ball. Press remaining dough evenly onto bottom and up sides of prepared pan. Pierce bottom all over with fork. Cover pan with foil and freeze crust at least 1 hour and up to 1 day.

Preheat oven to 175 degrees celcius. Bake crust uncovered until deep golden brown, checking often and pressing sides and bottom with back of fork during first 15 minutes when crust puffs or bubbles, about 20 minutes total. Cool completely.

For pudding.

Place cornstarch and salt in medium bowl. Gradually add 1/4 cup milk, whisking until cornstarch dissolves. Whisk in egg yolks.

Stir sugar and 1/3 cup water in heavy large saucepan over medium-high heat until sugar dissolves. Bring to boil, brushing down pan sides with wet pastry brush. Boil without stirring until syrup is deep amber, swirling pan occasionally, about 10 minutes. Add 2 cups milk (mixture will bubble). DO NOT FREAK OUT LIKE I DID AND WHEN IT GOES ALL HARD THE CARAMEL WILL EVENTUALLY MELT. Whisk until caramel bits dissolve. Slowly whisk hot milk mixture into yolk mixture; return to same pan. Whisk until pudding thickens and boils, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat. Whisk in butter and vanilla. Transfer to crust. Chill uncovered until cold and just firm, at least 3 hours.

For topping.

Stir 2/3 cup sugar and 1/3 cup water in heavy medium skillet (do not use nonstick) over medium-high heat until sugar dissolves. Bring to boil, brushing down pan sides with wet pastry brush. Boil without stirring until syrup is medium amber color, about 7 minutes.

Add butter and coconut cream and vanilla. Yum. Add almonds and stir to coat evenly with caramel. Immediately scrape coated almonds onto sheet of foil. Working quickly with 2 forks, separate almonds and spread out in single layer. Cool completely. Do ahead Let almonds stand at room temperature up to 6 hours or cover and chill up to 1 day.

Break almonds into small clusters before using.

Jam Doughnuts.

I just don't know how I'm going to do any better than this. These bad boys are the reason I was brought into the world.

God was like, fuck I'm sick of going to Donut King and getting a soggy jam donut.

Jesus replies, yo Dad I know all I want is a donut that stays soft and moisty on the inside and crispy and cinnamon like on the outside.

God goes, yeah son I know, the worst is that horrible processed jam they pump them full of.

Jesus empathises saying, I know dad, loaded with empty calories...and I don't need that when I'm trying to convince Mary Magdalene to bring on a Jesus Junior. I mean, come on, the people are getting impatient, I need someone to send down there.

God replies, dude-son I just thought of something rad.

Jesus says, What?

God goes, imagine if you could pick your own jam.

Jesus, fucking blueberry that's what.

True story guys. I heard them sitting at the back of the bus, no lie, they said it.

Jam doughnuts are religion. Idols. A tower of jam donuts should be created and we should call it the "Obelisk of Delicious" and we should pray to it's sugary goodness daily.

When you make these, there's nothing better than eating it straight away, warm, cinnamony and crispy on the outside and soft and moisty on the inside.

Just the way Jesus likes it.

 They are bloody messy to make though; the one down side. Make sure you have an effective piping tool and that you stab a little hole in your donut to make sure there's room to fill it with jam. Or you could do what I did; get a trashload of jam all over my hands and shirt and run into your lounge room screaming "THEY FUCKING GOT ME"

Didn't go down so well. I recommend wearing gloves and an apron and avoiding the consequences of faking a murder...

Anyway here's the recipe.

Enjoy!

Jam Doughnuts

taken from Modern Classics 2 by Donna Hay

Ingredients

4 teaspoons active dry yeast

1/4 cup warm water

1 cup warm milk (zap it in your microwave)

3 tablespoons caster sugar (I used normal and the world kept turning surprisingly)

100g butter, melted

4 1/2 cups plain flour

3 eggs

1 cup caster sugar + cinnamon for rolling and dusting

one jar of your choice of jam*

*holy negro an idea just occurred to me...USE NUTELLA SOMEONE DO THIS AND TELL ME HOW IT GOES

Method

Put the yeast, water, milk and one tablespoon of sugar in a bowl and leave aside for 10 minutes or until the yeast causes the mixture to foam. When it's foamy it means the yeast has activated and your doughnuts will be plump and cheery rather than deflated and unhappy.

Add the butter, flour, eggs and remaining sugar and mix with a butter knife until a sticky dough forms. Bring dough together by kneading it gently.

Place the dough in an oiled bowl and leave to rise for 45 minutes.

When it's risen, knead the dough until it's nice and lovely and elastic.

Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface and cut whatever sized lumps you want off. Roll them into little sealed balls. You can put these on a baking tray with a bit of oil, cover with a tea-towel ad wait for them to rise again for thirty minutes but i was way too keen.

Heat your vegetable oil in a saucepan over medium-low heat until really really freaking hot. Cook the doughnuts however many fit at a time for one minute on each side or until the whole bad boy is golden brown. Drain briefly on paper towel, toss in cinnamon and sugar.

Score a little hole with a poking device and using a piping bag (or piping syringe) pump the bad boy full of jam.

EAT IT.

Nom nom nom nom nom nom.