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Sunday, August 1, 2010

Jam Doughnuts.

I just don't know how I'm going to do any better than this. These bad boys are the reason I was brought into the world.

God was like, fuck I'm sick of going to Donut King and getting a soggy jam donut.

Jesus replies, yo Dad I know all I want is a donut that stays soft and moisty on the inside and crispy and cinnamon like on the outside.

God goes, yeah son I know, the worst is that horrible processed jam they pump them full of.

Jesus empathises saying, I know dad, loaded with empty calories...and I don't need that when I'm trying to convince Mary Magdalene to bring on a Jesus Junior. I mean, come on, the people are getting impatient, I need someone to send down there.

God replies, dude-son I just thought of something rad.

Jesus says, What?

God goes, imagine if you could pick your own jam.

Jesus, fucking blueberry that's what.

True story guys. I heard them sitting at the back of the bus, no lie, they said it.

Jam doughnuts are religion. Idols. A tower of jam donuts should be created and we should call it the "Obelisk of Delicious" and we should pray to it's sugary goodness daily.

When you make these, there's nothing better than eating it straight away, warm, cinnamony and crispy on the outside and soft and moisty on the inside.

Just the way Jesus likes it.

 They are bloody messy to make though; the one down side. Make sure you have an effective piping tool and that you stab a little hole in your donut to make sure there's room to fill it with jam. Or you could do what I did; get a trashload of jam all over my hands and shirt and run into your lounge room screaming "THEY FUCKING GOT ME"

Didn't go down so well. I recommend wearing gloves and an apron and avoiding the consequences of faking a murder...

Anyway here's the recipe.


Jam Doughnuts


4 teaspoons active dry yeast
1/4 cup warm water
1 cup warm milk (zap it in your microwave)
3 tablespoons caster sugar (I used normal and the world kept turning surprisingly)
100g butter, melted
4 1/2 cups plain flour
3 eggs
1 cup caster sugar + cinnamon for rolling and dusting
one jar of your choice of jam*

*holy negro an idea just occurred to me...USE NUTELLA SOMEONE DO THIS AND TELL ME HOW IT GOES


Put the yeast, water, milk and one tablespoon of sugar in a bowl and leave aside for 10 minutes or until the yeast causes the mixture to foam. When it's foamy it means the yeast has activated and your doughnuts will be plump and cheery rather than deflated and unhappy.

Add the butter, flour, eggs and remaining sugar and mix with a butter knife until a sticky dough forms. Bring dough together by kneading it gently.

Place the dough in an oiled bowl and leave to rise for 45 minutes.

When it's risen, knead the dough until it's nice and lovely and elastic.

Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface and cut whatever sized lumps you want off. Roll them into little sealed balls. You can put these on a baking tray with a bit of oil, cover with a tea-towel ad wait for them to rise again for thirty minutes but i was way too keen.

Heat your vegetable oil in a saucepan over medium-low heat until really really freaking hot. Cook the doughnuts however many fit at a time for one minute on each side or until the whole bad boy is golden brown. Drain briefly on paper towel, toss in cinnamon and sugar.

Score a little hole with a poking device and using a piping bag (or piping syringe) pump the bad boy full of jam.


Nom nom nom nom nom nom.

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