I don't really know which one sucked more, but I'll tell you the more irrelevant one first.
1. I got attacked by a bat.
Yes friends, that's correct. That is not a typo of "bat" instead of "cat". I got attacked by a "b". "a". "t".
As you can undoubtedly imagine, the experience was mortifying. As I went on my morning run, oblivious to the world with my tunes in my ears the wind in my sails and the sweat collecting on my upper lip, I was the picture of not only optimum health, but optimum happiness.
Not for much longer.
As I approached a rather large fruit tree and began to turn the footpath corner, a demon descended, sent from the fiery furnace that is hell and flew limbs a-flailing into my face. It's screech was like that of a newborn baby crossed with a demented goat; both terrifying and horribley confusing at the same time.
Needless to say I swore so loudly that the people in the surrounding suburbs would have been woken only to think that the apocalypse was coming and the scream was the sound of someone seeing the first alien hit the coast.
Nuff of that.
2. When I got home from that run, there was no weetbix.
What the fuck. Honestly. Having just contracted hepatitis, cancer, tuberculosis, the plague and all forms of deathly illness from Satan's little helper, I was entirely pissed off I could not have my routine breakfast. You see, I've perfected the breakfast meal and I tend to blatantly refuse any other breakfast item in the morning.
Two weetbix + half a chopped up banana + tablespoon of greek yoghurt + handful of DRY ROASTED almonds + few squirts of honey + mash it all into a porridge type mess = ella's happiness.
I was sufficiently depressed and resorted to creating myself an epic breakfast that would make up for my epic failure of a morning. And if I was going to start running at impossible speeds, glittering in the sunlight and craving a certain girl's blood...cough Bella...cough.... I wanted to go out with a bang.
So I made fucking oatmeal pancakes. They're a twist on a regular pancake; though they're essentially the same recipe as a regular pancake, they're made with oat flour (blended rolled oats) which makes them "seem" healthier. They're deliciously warm, gooey and mine were cooked to perfection. Don;t you love it when you make pancakes and the butter makes the edges of the pancake curl up into brown buttery crispy little crusts of goodness and leave you craving that fluffy cloudlike centre which you drench in a waterfall of maple syrup. Good with strawberries and cream too. Lemon and sugar. Brown sugar and cinnamon and honey. Bananas and nutella. The list goes on and on and on...
Pancakes are such an easy breakfast item to make and if you do have the ingredients, take the time to make your own batter and not just resort to packet mix. They taste so much better! Slash you won't get a fucking arm cramp from shaking the premix bottle...
Here's the recipe!
adopted and then adapted from smittenkitchen.com
makes a fair few pancakes...enough for three or four.
3/4 cup oat flour (you can make this by blending the bejesus out of some regular rolled oats in a food processor)
1 cup plain flour
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 teaspoon baking powder
pinch of salt
1/2 cup butter (plus extra for the pan)
1 cup of buttermilk
1/2 regular milk
1 cup cooked oatmeal* (cook up some regular ol' porridge using water or milk and use this.)
1 tablespoon honey
2 large eggs
Put all of your dry ingredients in a large bowl.
In a smaller bowl whisk all of your wet ingredients together.
Gently fold the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients.
Do this using a wooden spoon, rotating and folding so that the batter isn't overmixed. Overmixed means chewy pancake aka vomit.
Heat a 10-inch cast-iron pan or griddle over medium heat until water sizzles when splashed onto the pan. Lower to medium-low. Rub the pan generously with butter. Using a ladle, bung your pancake mix into the pan, I'm not the one whose going to tell you how big to make them. Once bubbles have begun to form on the top side of the pancake, flip the pancake and cook until the bottom is dark golden-brown, about 5 minutes total.
Eat it with the stuff I said to eat it with, or anything else! Tomato sauce, hoi sin, ice cream, asparagus...whatever.